Adam Parrish

[chiseler]

I'm not calling you a ghost, just stop haunting me
and I love you so much, I'm gonna let you kill me
There's a ghost in my lungs and it sighs in my sleep
Wraps itself around my tongue as it softly speaks
Then it walks, then it walks with my legs
To fall, to fall, to fall at your feet

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Day 5 - Letter

[chiseler]

Adam Parrish,

I'm not even really expecting you to read this after everything, but I have nothing else to lose anymore. So…here we go.

Now you know the truth. I've known since the first day I met you what part I played in this game, and in a way I probably lied to you more than anyone else in the complex. But the thing about it is…it wasn't exactly a lie. You never suspected me of being staff and I always figured you weren't. When we first spoke, it was out of self-preservation.

Four. Four days. Like. Love. Fake. Dead. Adam. Luke. Four letters. I don't know, maybe "four" is a sign. Four in some religions represents the creation of the entire universe, when the sun and moon and stars came into existence. Did you know that? Maybe that's what we were trying to do…create something new together. Weird, isn't it?

When we first spoke and decided to do this, it was out of self-preservation on both sides but…like I said. I meant everything I said in the trial. I meant every word and that was the last thing I wanted you to hear from me. It was only four days and yet somehow it was a really good four days because I had someone who actually understood things. And now it's gone. I'm gone. I'm sure several people are glad to see me gone, but they're not really my concern anymore.

There are things about myself I understand better now. Maybe if I ever see you again in another lifetime we can talk about it. Or we can just start over.

Do what you have to do, Parrish.

-Luke Castellan

day 6

[antietam]

Luke Castellan,

Why wouldn't I read this? It wasn't that long ago that I told you I didn't care about who you were. I figured you being staff didn't negate our deal. Maybe it was better that you were. I had some protection.

There are a lot of things I want to say, but first: How are you communicating with me? Are you really gone? Are you watching us? Is Lara with you? I told you I've seen ghosts before. If you're around but we can't see you, it may be because of the lack of energy from the leyline. I can fix it.

I'm so sorry. That's the next thing I have to say. We made a deal and I screwed it up immediately. I couldn't protect you well enough. I tried, I kept pushing and I know it made me look suspicious but I didn't want you to get any votes. I didn't want you to die. I didn't think they would vote for you based on nothing but they did. Just a couple days ago, I thought they were mostly nice people. But they're horrible. I should have done better for you and Lara and I'm sorry.

I realized some things too. I never thought this would happen so fast and I was starting to think we could make it through this together. Maybe that wasn't possible when you were staff and all but I think we made a good team anyway. I think you understood me better than anyone I've ever met and I didn't really get it until you said it out loud.

It hurt a lot when you said that you meant it. It still hurts a lot now. It was like I just realized I had someone who cared about me and then you were taken away. That's not fair. It's so unfair that I keep thinking you're going to come back and that we'll have breakfast again and talk about what to do for the day. I had so much I wanted to talk to you about after the trial.

It was only four days but I feel like I knew you a lot longer. But not long enough because there was still so much I wanted to ask you. I wanted to know who you were really were when you weren't telling people what they wanted to hear. Having you to talk to made being here so much better than being at home. And I guess that's why it had to be taken away.

But maybe we can keep things going like this. Maybe we don't need another lifetime. Will you respond to me? Can you? Please. I miss having you around.

Adam

[antietam]

[ Adam regrets asking to be shot. But he probably would have also regretted the crossbow. It's just such a terrifying sensation, one he's feared since his father first threatened him with the gun. He doesn't feel great and he feels more out of place at the new home than anything. It's so... big and nice. He's not sure he deserves it.

Even if he did, it's all fake. It's hard to believe he's dead after trying so hard to keep on living but it wasn't worth it. To let a child be killed because of something he did... He would have hated living with that. So he accepts what's happened to him and explores the house before leaving.

It makes sense now, how Luke had contacted him. He hadn't received a response when he checked before the trial but he imagines they're due for a meeting. He's slow and uncertain but he walks around the neighborhood hopefully. ]

night 8

[antietam]

[ Sleeping probably isn't necessary, but Adam tries because otherwise the day is too long. Unsurprisingly, though, after watching the trial and being alone with his thoughts, it doesn't work.

Being alone with himself is the worst possible thing at the moment. That's why he accepted Luke's invitation to stay at his home without a second thought. When he's alone, his senses are filled with a gun firing at him and then double the memories attack him—some in Virginia, some in the Columbia Commonwealth—and the utter fear of being killed with that gun. If it's not that, then he thinks about killing Franziska. It's not that he regrets it, but the feeling of beating someone to death is the worst possible thing. He never wanted that.

So he can't be alone or he thinks he might suffocate. He leaves his bedroom to go to Luke's, creeping as if he doesn't want to disturb him but still asks: ] Are you awake?