Adam Parrish

[chiseler]

I'm not calling you a ghost, just stop haunting me
and I love you so much, I'm gonna let you kill me
There's a ghost in my lungs and it sighs in my sleep
Wraps itself around my tongue as it softly speaks
Then it walks, then it walks with my legs
To fall, to fall, to fall at your feet

Comments

[antietam]

[ Good thing he doesn't like Luke or anything :\ ] Do you really want to teach something to a jackass? [ They will get absolutely nowhere like this. ]

I could bribe you into listening. That's how politics usually work anyway, right? [ He sighs and leans back against the grass in order to close his eyes. That's embarrassing. ]

So some things are secret. That's interesting. [ He pauses. ] What did you see?

[chiseler]

That depends, is the jackass going to be stubborn about it? [There's a small smile though that says he might actually consider it. Why not?]

You're not a politician, Parrish, you're too nice and angry for that. [He looks down at Adam's face now that his eyes are closed, taking his time to study his features for himself.] ...I saw that nobody else could see my email to you, so that's something new. [A pause. Annnnd casually:] Annnd I might've noticed you went back to our place without me.

[antietam]

Would that really stop you? [ Maybe he's a little too confident now. After all, Luke clearly likes him enough to keep him around. ]

I don't see what that has to do with anything, anyway. [ He's not nice but he is angry. Aren't politicians angry? Somewhere on the inside probably. His face twitches when Luke mentions what he's seen, the particularly embarrassing moments of his grief. ] It's not like you were there to go back with me. [ It's upsetting to think about. ]

... I didn't want anyone to see. That's why I went there. I thought you were really, actually gone and... it was only four days but I felt like I lost something important that I could never get back.

[chiseler]

Guess you'll have to ask and find out, won't you? [He's not letting him off that easily but signs seem to point to "no." He shakes his head even if Adam can't really see him, but he lets that thread of conversation go, too.]

...make me feel even more guilty than I already did. [He didn't want Adam to feel bad for what had happened. That wasn't the point at all.] ...you really think what you and I had was that important? [He doesn't sound like he disagrees. It's more like he has trouble understanding they feel the same way about it.]

[antietam]

[ He lets out a huff because he knows what Luke is trying to do and he doesn't reply. He'll probably ending up asking at some point but right now it's a matter of pride.

His hand moves over his face because he's embarrassed. It's hard to talk about this, and weird. He's not entirely sure where Luke's feelings lie and he doesn't want to go too far. ] Why would you feel guilty about dying? [ It's a genuine question. It's not like Luke did anything more than speak out in trials. He takes a deep breath. ]

That was the feeling I had. Feelings aren't typically rational. Maybe it makes no sense, but I guess so. When you said you meant everything... I hadn't realized what was there until it was too late. And I was never going to stop regretting that.

[chiseler]

Do you really not know, or are you asking me to say it out loud? Think carefully on that just in case. And anyway you just said it. Feelings aren't really rational. I just...maybe I felt bad about leaving you behind when I knew it meant something. Whatever that means.

[There's a harsh inhale.] This is weird to talk about. [He doesn't like it.] I don't think we were supposed to mean anything.

[antietam]

[ Adam is quiet because he's not going to ask Luke to say it out loud. Neither of them need more reminders of their deaths at the moment. ] You felt bad because of me. [ He hadn't expected that. He's still not going to move his hand to look at him, though. ]

... That wasn't the intention, no. I thought you'd be good to have on my side. I guess I liked you more than some others, but... I don't know, I don't dislike it. It felt nice, actually. That's why I want to continue instead of starting over. I want to keep feeling it.

[chiseler]

I wasn't alive long enough to put some things into place. When you and I made our deal, I knew it was more about me protecting you for a while. It wasn't supposed to be for long. If the science team felt like you would be useful, I might have considered it. And then we started talking and...I don't know.

[There's a shift suddenly and then Luke's laying on the ground next to him, more or less mirroring his stance.] It's like...we can still be friends here, can't we? Even without having to protect ourselves from getting killed.

[antietam]

[ Adam nods because that's fair. He couldn't expect Luke to keep him alive but at least it might have been a decent alliance because killing Adam off could have brought suspicion onto Luke. When he feels Luke lie down next to him, he moves his hand to look over at him. ]

Like you said, here we can do whatever we want. I've always wanted to just... have something normal. [ He reaches over slowly to touch carefully at Luke's cheek. ] Do you want that too?

[chiseler]

[Is this normal? He doesn't pull away from Adam's hand but he doesn't quite respond either.]

I think...[He doesn't finish the sentence. "I think I might have had that once." This means something to Adam. Luke knows that. It means something to him, too, but he isn't sure what yet.] Normal. After everything? Normal sounds pretty good right about now. What's the first step?

[antietam]

[ Adam considers him quietly. It's not an exact answer. It sounds good right now and maybe it won't sound good later, is how Adam takes it. But Adam can be normal while Luke isn't normal and it's not going to ruin anything; they can both do whatever they want.

He pulls his hand away and looks up at the sky. ] How should I know? I imagined something like this. A house and a car and a nice job. I guess I can scratch that last one off. I think I wanted to go to movies and restaurants and whatever people our age should be doing.

... But we can start off with getting used to it. Getting used to... each other now?

[chiseler]

[There's another long pause.]

One of these things is probably going to be harder than the other. But with nothing else to do, we can start figuring out what people our age should be doing and would be doing if they were alive.

What happens if we decide after spending enough time together we actually don't want to get used to each other or be around each other? Got a plan for that?

[antietam]

[ There's a pause and then a slightly nervous laugh. ]

Nice, Castellan. If it turns out you don't like spending time with me when we're not in constant danger of being killed, it's not a big deal. Just let me know and you can have the movie theater and I'll take the library.

[chiseler]

[There's a slight deprecating huff of laughter then.] That's not the part I'm worried about, Adam. [But he sits up and opens his eyes, looking down the street again.] We should head in. Lara'll want to see you, I'm sure.

[antietam]

[ He doesn't believe him. There's no other reason to ask a question like that. It makes Adam leave his defenses up but he nods, not wanting to fight since he also wants to see Lara. ]

Sure. We'll see what she wants to build. [ He wonders whose house this is and if this means they're staying together, but he'd prefer to ask Lara than Luke at the moment. ]