Adam Parrish

[chiseler]

I'm not calling you a ghost, just stop haunting me
and I love you so much, I'm gonna let you kill me
There's a ghost in my lungs and it sighs in my sleep
Wraps itself around my tongue as it softly speaks
Then it walks, then it walks with my legs
To fall, to fall, to fall at your feet

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[antietam]

[ He eyes where Luke's hand moves to, knowing exactly what that means. He was intently focused on Luke's death even when he shouldn't have been. ]

It helps being with someone, I think. So we're not alone with our thoughts. [ He bites his lip like he's not sure he should say something, but... ] Even before this, I used to get flashbacks to things that weren't pleasant. You try to keep them at bay but they go on for as long as you resist them. So you have to let them play out.

The only way I've found to keep them away for longer is to preoccupy your mind with something entirely different. If you're not going to sleep anyway...

[chiseler]

Wait, you mean flashbacks to your old life? Or false memories of your false one? Man, never mind, it doesn't matter...I get what you're saying. [He pauses again, turning his head to look at Adam curiously.]

...did you have something in mind to preoccupy us since we're not sleeping? At this point I'm pretty much open to ideas.

[antietam]

Before the complex, is what I meant. In my old life. [ But it doesn't matter so he won't explain the rest. He hums in consideration and lets himself lay back on the bed. ]

Let's talk about our plans. For this place and ourselves. It's better to talk about the future than the past, so... What sort of movies are going to be at the movie theater? Let's go sometime.

[chiseler]

[There's a break in the conversation before he, too, lays on his back but turns his head to look at Adam instead.]

I imagine it's probably whatever we can get our hands on. I've been spying on the compound and it's pretty early-era stuff. It'll probably be stuff like that. When was the last time you were ever on a movie date anyway?

[antietam]

[ There's a sudden laugh, surprised. ] Never, I guess. But I think I've only gone to a movie theater once or twice in general. [ He gives Luke a searching look, amusement still on his face. ]

Who said it was a date?

[chiseler]

Who said it wasn't? [It's just as smooth as anything, but it's an honest question.] Anyway you're missing out. Thalia and I used to go all the time whenever we could sneak off-campus.

[antietam]

[ Adam keeps on smiling but looks up at the ceiling. ] I'll say it is if you do. [ If he's reading this right. It's still strange to imagine Luke as a college student even if he looks the part. ] ... Thalia?

[chiseler]

Why do I have to say it when I suggested it? I think it's obvious to me. [He knows he's being contradictory though. Still, his smile fades briefly.] My best friend I mentioned. Her name's Thalia. We used to do everything together.

[antietam]

I suggested it, actually. Try again. [ And Adam is just being difficult but he seems fine with the idea.

Of course, he can tell that this is going into bad memory territory. He clears his throat and takes a moment to think. ] Does it help to talk about her, or...?

[chiseler]

I'm the one who turned it into a date, so no. I still win.

[It's easier to think about Thalia when he's joking around about other things. Still, he's silent again.] Well...I'm dead and more than likely never going to see her again. But my false memories made me believe she was dead and I'd never see her again anyway. So I guess it's fine either way. [A little smile follows.] You either would have really liked her, or you would have wanted to destroy her. Thalia has one of those personalities.

[antietam]

You can't win a date. [ He says because he's lost. Still, he's quiet as he listens to Luke talk about Thalia. He doesn't believe him when he says it's fine. He'll never see his best friend again either and that... He hasn't really processed that yet. ]

Yeah? I think I know what you mean. So a strong personality... but in what direction? Really cheerful or...?

[chiseler]

Don't underestimate me, Parrish. I win because I say so. [But he closes his eyes because...yeah. It sucks.]

She's...really kind of opinionated. People used to be kind of afraid of her because she doesn't take shit from anybody. I think that was just one of the things I loved that about her though. She was also always a little smarter than I am, too.

[antietam]

[ He scoffs because he's clearly too mature to continue this argument. Instead he turns on his side to look at Luke. ]

... Sounds like a girl I was dating. [ Is that something to say to someone he's about to go on a date with? Oh well. ] So I'd probably like her. I envy those kinds of people. They don't care what anyone thinks about them. [ He reaches out to carefully touch Luke's scarred cheek. ]

This wasn't from a dragon, I guess.

[chiseler]

So you and I have a type. [He sounds amused at least.] Thalia wasn't scared of anything and you're right. She never cared what people thought. People learned to stop messing with her. [He flinches a little when Adam's hand rests on his cheek, but he doesn't pull away. Instead, he stops trying to meet his eyes.]

Not a dragon, no. Knife fight when I was seventeen. I got involved in some stuff and it was just kinda bad overall. Nobody did anything to stop it or fix it either.

[antietam]

An even better reason to be like that. [ So people don't mess with you. He wishes. Still, there's no one who will hurt him here. Him or Luke. His hand just caresses the side of his face, no longer focused on the scar. ]

No one helps people like us. [ Maybe everything he knew about Luke is different but he still gets the feeling they're an us. ] That's why you have to fix things on your own, right? That's why you still wanted to fix the world. Do you think there's any fixing it now?

[chiseler]

[He tilts his head almost lovingly into Adam's hand, comfortable here and strangely okay talking about something like this.]

Yes. To all of that. I don't want to think there isn't a way to fix things because that would mean accepting that I failed. I'm not too good at that. But sometimes I wonder if fixing things also counts for me still being in the picture.