chiseler | Adam Parrish

Some of us realize we're experiments a little too late, you know. [It's a sharp tone, but he backs down shortly after.] That part wasn't fake though...of course I want to do things myself, but not like this. I wanted to get ahead and I thought...this would be the way to do it.

[ Adam is quiet as he thinks. Luke still makes sense to him. If Adam was offered a chance to be a scientist, to get ahead, would he reject it?

He wasn't even one of them and he still killed someone. Does he have a right to tell Luke off about it? ] Is that what you've been thinking about? What you did back there and what you saw?

Yes. Among other things. Everything in the complex, where I went wrong to fail so early, everything from my life before I signed on to be part of the Vault 62 experiment team, my friends, my little sister, the world outside of this place, the fact that I'm realizing a lot of things were pretty messed up...stuff like that.

You can see why I said "ask an easier question."

[ He knows that it's a lot for Luke to tell him these things, but it's also clear that they're eating at him the same way Adam's memories are. So he moves from his place at the door slowly, enough for Luke to get the idea of what he's doing, and sits himself down at the edge of his bed. He's not entirely sure he's allowed to be there but he might as well. ]

It's really, really messed up. [ He looks over at Luke. ] So you're not a demigod or anything. Those are pretty weird memories to have, aren't they? Who are you really?

[He doesn't seem to mind that Adam's joining him, but he makes no moves to get closer either. Instead, he's staring at his hands and trying to sort out which direction to take in this conversation.]

No. I'm not, but I'm starting to see exactly why they keyed me up to think I was one. They're clever for making the stories line up. [He runs a hand through his hair.] ...my name's still Luke Castellan. I'm still 19. But...I'm a psychology student. A psych student with a background in a lot of things. I used to help design vaults. I used to help design vaults exactly like the one we were just in.

[ He makes a noise of interest when Luke talks about being a psychology student. He supposes that makes sense in some ways. ] ... Exactly? [ Vaults weren't supposed to be like that, were they? ]

How exactly does your story line up with being a demigod and running away from monsters and going to a magic camp? [ It's not derisive, he's really interested. ]

Not exactly but still pretty close. A compound with rooms and floors and secrets. Sometimes I'd make hallways that lead to dead ends just for fun. I used to study maps to get new ideas. I was still learning.

[He frowns though.] My mom went crazy, my little sister and I were sent to live at a boarding school year-round because my dad was too busy to take responsibility for us and we both learned how to take care of ourselves. I raised her by myself. I met some atrocious people in the outside world. I met my best friend when we were younger…stuff like that. It was mostly a large exaggeration of what I already knew.

That sounds more like shoddy architecture. [ But there's a drop in his expression when Luke mentions still learning. Luke had a lot ahead of him. Adam did too, maybe. They both had so much to learn. ] You could still learn here. That's why I wanted the library. There would have to be maps there. I was thinking, actually, we should make a map for our new town.

[ His fingers play with the bedding while he listens. It's a lot of new information about Luke and it makes sense. ] So the little girl was your sister. I think it was mostly the same for me. Just... the same thing but in the past, in a different version of America. I don't know why magic had to be a part of it. [ A pause. ] Wish they could have made some things a little nicer. Now I have double the shitty memories.

Yeah, Annabeth used to get on my case for that, too. [And now he's never going to see her again. That's fun.] …we could make a map. One of the reasons I got the job offer was my cartography skills anyway. We can do some research, kill even more time.

[He takes a deep breath, still not entirely looking at Adam.] It doesn't surprise me. I would have thought of Annabeth as my sister no matter what. Magic is the only way to really explain some things, I think. It was a different version of America for me, too. I'm actually from Connecticut. New York was where school was though, so maybe that's why. I'd say "let's make better memories" but is it even worth it?

[ He raises an eyebrow at cartography skills, curious about what that must entail. ] Alright. After all, I want a practical town set up. The neighborhood is the central location so we're going to need the necessities surrounding us... so the movie theater is going to have to be farther away. [ But not the library.

He looks up at the ceiling and thinks for a long moment. ] Why wouldn't it be? Is it worth it to build things here? Is it worth it to do anything but lay in bed? Yeah, I think it is. I mean... it's not like bad shit exists here. Some of the people aren't great, but at least there aren't parents to answer to. So I'd like to make it good if we're presumably going to be here for a long time.

Sure...it can go wherever. [It makes sense, but he doesn't sound enthusiastic. There's still a lot on his mind.]

I'm glad it's easy for you to do that. [Strangely, there's no sense of malice with the words either. He's just...explaining.] It will make the afterlife easier when we just accept we're stuck here for a while. But I don't know if I can fully accept it. I never had any memories of my fake life missing. So I already knew that in that world, my best friend sacrificed herself to save me and Annabeth, and I started working under the titan lord. In this world...I'm never going to see them again. I did this under the idea that those two would be safe, and now...I don't know what will happen to them.

[ There's a sigh and he looks off, not sure how he's supposed to comfort. He's pretty sure there's no hope of finding the people they care about or reuniting with them. They're dead and that's it. Adam has thought about Gansey, of course, of all his friends... but he truly believes that Gansey would have found something to do. They had enough money to save themselves, didn't they? They must be better off than him. ]

Was their safety promised when you started working? As an employee, our bosses should do that much for you. And you've been keeping true to your contract, right? So they should as well.

It was, but we were also promised our memories weren't altered. I've been promised a lot of things in my life, Adam. Nobody's ever lived up to them. [He stops though before he shakes his head.] ...sorry. This wasn't why you came in here, is it?

[ Adam looks back at him, pausing, and then shaking his head. ] It's exactly what I came in here for, actually.

If all of our memories were altered anyway... why did they make us forget things? To make you think you had some leverage over us? Why did some of them come back after I—we—killed?

No, that was part of the mission. The whole point was to research new technology to modify memories of people extensively which meant giving everybody a new life of memories and also seeing how you guys reacted upon receiving new false memories. ...in my case, when I killed Lara I got a memory of my old life back. When I got here, I remembered everything. That's the funny thing about memories.

We were all lab rats, Parrish. That's all there is to it.

I guess we were. [ He doesn't care enough to try to blame Luke for this. He seems just as bothered by everything as Adam, if not more so. Maybe Adam just doesn't know enough to be truly upset. ] Weird how some of the memories they gave us were similar. You having dreams, me... seeing ghosts everywhere.

But at least you knew what was going on. Who else was in on it? Can you tell me now that you've seen Rhys spill a bunch of secrets?

...that's not weird. I know exactly what the dreams were about. [And judging by the shift in tone it's not something pleasant at all.] Can you think of what the ghosts were?

[He chews the inside of his cheek.] I knew enough, but there were still secrets among us as a group, too. I originally signed an NDA but...I'm pretty dead. It doesn't matter now, but you'd still have to keep it to yourself. Not even Lara knows.

[ Adam blinks at him because it's clearly not something he considered. Now that he's thinking about it... yes. His eyebrows furrow and he crosses his arms defensively. ] I guess so. Are yours...?

[ He's curious if they were similar in their fake memories because they're similar in real life but he doesn't want to talk about his so he doubts Luke does either. ] I don't have anyone to tell, Luke. [ Blandly. ] If you haven't noticed, I sort of lost a lot of friends over the past few days.

Yes. [His nightmares were induced by other people in this world, too. But Adam's right, he's not really ready to talk about this yet. Instead he focuses on the other subject at hand.]

I'm sorry about that. I really am. But somehow I'm not sure that's also entirely true. [Still…there's a short huff.] Rhys, Ava, Bigby, Ciel, and me. That's your five.

They weren't really friends. [ It's quiet. People were nice to him but they all started to turn on him anyway. The list catches him by surprise and he frowns... people he didn't suspect. People he liked like Ava. He also saved Ciel from getting executed but, like he said in the trial, he didn't care if he was staff or not. ]

I thought Bigby's attack was weird. But I... had no idea about the others. You guys are good at your job. [ He almost looks like he's pouting since he wasn't right. ] Most of them are pretty quiet except for you and Rhys. I think I might have helped turn the suspicion on Alvin, actually. You mentioned liking him once so I thought it'd make sense if you were having secret meetings.

It's too bad the people I wanted to be staff aren't. [ AKA the people he doesn't like. ]

Can anyone really be friends in a place like this after a few days? That was just another thing I was curious about myself. [He knows the list is weird but he does nothing to console him about that.]

Not sure what the deal was with Bigby's attack. Half the time I'm not sure what the deal is with Bigby, but...thanks, I guess. They're good at being subtle. Rhys and I...well. Rhys and I are a little different. [It's why he likes Rhys.] As much as it would make sense for Alvin to be staff, no. I liked him because I wanted to take some cues from him and see how he operated. That's an entirely different story.

Would that make a difference if they were the people you wanted?

I don't know. They thought we were in love. [ So maybe it's not impossible. It doesn't matter now, though.

It makes a difference because he would have been right but he's not going to say that. ] It would have been easier to see them die. I think they're going to figure Ciel out. After all, there was suspicion on him so the staff would have had no reason to take him out if he weren't part of them... [ He pauses. ]

Do you think they're all going to come here eventually? Not even just the staff, but everyone. I mean, how are they going to leave?

That's a good point. That worked out for us for a while, didn't it? [It doesn't matter now. He rolls his eyes then.] As much as I agree with that, I'm sure someone somewhere would have missed them. Ciel's craftier than you think though. I think he'll stay alive just long enough unless something drastic comes up.

...there's a door. When only five of us are left, people can leave. Almost everyone will come here though, yeah. Why?

[ Adam manages a light smile over at him. It's nicer to think about the more positive moments during their time in the complex. ] It did work out. It was nice to have someone who had my back... someone who cared, even just because of a deal.

[ He sighs and his hands fidget. ] But what are they going to go out to? They're going to die out there anyway. I guess it all just seems pointless, like we were always all going to end up here.

...that didn't exactly go away just because I died, Parrish. You're still in my house aren't you? [He sounds genuinely curious about Adam's opinion on the whole thing.]

I don't know. Judy told me that nobody knew what was really out there until recently. The Overseer knows but I don't think the rest of the staff does. When you have a goal but you don't have all of the information...of course it ends up this way.

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