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Adam Parrish

I'm not calling you a ghost, just stop haunting me
and I love you so much, I'm gonna let you kill me
There's a ghost in my lungs and it sighs in my sleep
Wraps itself around my tongue as it softly speaks
Then it walks, then it walks with my legs
To fall, to fall, to fall at your feet

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If all of our memories were altered anyway... why did they make us forget things? To make you think you had some leverage over us? Why did some of them come back after I—we—killed?
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We were all lab rats, Parrish. That's all there is to it.
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But at least you knew what was going on. Who else was in on it? Can you tell me now that you've seen Rhys spill a bunch of secrets?
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[He chews the inside of his cheek.] I knew enough, but there were still secrets among us as a group, too. I originally signed an NDA but...I'm pretty dead. It doesn't matter now, but you'd still have to keep it to yourself. Not even Lara knows.
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[ He's curious if they were similar in their fake memories because they're similar in real life but he doesn't want to talk about his so he doubts Luke does either. ] I don't have anyone to tell, Luke. [ Blandly. ] If you haven't noticed, I sort of lost a lot of friends over the past few days.
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I'm sorry about that. I really am. But somehow I'm not sure that's also entirely true. [Still…there's a short huff.] Rhys, Ava, Bigby, Ciel, and me. That's your five.
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I thought Bigby's attack was weird. But I... had no idea about the others. You guys are good at your job. [ He almost looks like he's pouting since he wasn't right. ] Most of them are pretty quiet except for you and Rhys. I think I might have helped turn the suspicion on Alvin, actually. You mentioned liking him once so I thought it'd make sense if you were having secret meetings.
It's too bad the people I wanted to be staff aren't. [ AKA the people he doesn't like. ]
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Not sure what the deal was with Bigby's attack. Half the time I'm not sure what the deal is with Bigby, but...thanks, I guess. They're good at being subtle. Rhys and I...well. Rhys and I are a little different. [It's why he likes Rhys.] As much as it would make sense for Alvin to be staff, no. I liked him because I wanted to take some cues from him and see how he operated. That's an entirely different story.
Would that make a difference if they were the people you wanted?
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It makes a difference because he would have been right but he's not going to say that. ] It would have been easier to see them die. I think they're going to figure Ciel out. After all, there was suspicion on him so the staff would have had no reason to take him out if he weren't part of them... [ He pauses. ]
Do you think they're all going to come here eventually? Not even just the staff, but everyone. I mean, how are they going to leave?
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...there's a door. When only five of us are left, people can leave. Almost everyone will come here though, yeah. Why?
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[ He sighs and his hands fidget. ] But what are they going to go out to? They're going to die out there anyway. I guess it all just seems pointless, like we were always all going to end up here.
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I don't know. Judy told me that nobody knew what was really out there until recently. The Overseer knows but I don't think the rest of the staff does. When you have a goal but you don't have all of the information...of course it ends up this way.
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He looks at him for a moment before starting to scoot closer, carefully as if he doesn't want to startle Luke. ] I don't blame you. I'm sorry I... got mad before. All I can think about tonight when I close my eyes is the way it felt when I was hitting her. And the way it felt when I got shot. So... thanks for letting me be here because I don't think I could... [ He shrugs. ]
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...it's fine. It's hard to understand when you don't know what's happening, I know. It's not going to be something we forget anytime soon, either. [A hand comes up to his neck, gently rubbing the space where Elizabeth stabbed him.] Nightmare fuel, right? I don't know how anybody sleeps in this place when we're here because we got killed or we killed someone or both.
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It helps being with someone, I think. So we're not alone with our thoughts. [ He bites his lip like he's not sure he should say something, but... ] Even before this, I used to get flashbacks to things that weren't pleasant. You try to keep them at bay but they go on for as long as you resist them. So you have to let them play out.
The only way I've found to keep them away for longer is to preoccupy your mind with something entirely different. If you're not going to sleep anyway...
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...did you have something in mind to preoccupy us since we're not sleeping? At this point I'm pretty much open to ideas.
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Let's talk about our plans. For this place and ourselves. It's better to talk about the future than the past, so... What sort of movies are going to be at the movie theater? Let's go sometime.
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I imagine it's probably whatever we can get our hands on. I've been spying on the compound and it's pretty early-era stuff. It'll probably be stuff like that. When was the last time you were ever on a movie date anyway?
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Who said it was a date?
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Of course, he can tell that this is going into bad memory territory. He clears his throat and takes a moment to think. ] Does it help to talk about her, or...?
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[It's easier to think about Thalia when he's joking around about other things. Still, he's silent again.] Well...I'm dead and more than likely never going to see her again. But my false memories made me believe she was dead and I'd never see her again anyway. So I guess it's fine either way. [A little smile follows.] You either would have really liked her, or you would have wanted to destroy her. Thalia has one of those personalities.
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Yeah? I think I know what you mean. So a strong personality... but in what direction? Really cheerful or...?
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