Just don't let me disappear, Imma tell you everything [W10, post-trial]

[chiseler]

[The trials are getting worse and worse, he thinks. This time, at least, he's shaken for a whole other reason beyond being a suspect. It was a bloodbath in the last three days and all because someone he cared about very much was, again, taken possession by something none of them could be prepared for.

He's quietly letting Adam lead him back to their room. He's marginally concerned since Yuno's across the hall and he's remembering how she behaved during the trial and now this. She knows he voted for Dave. But in the end it was a good thing, right?

He has enough clarity to unlock the door so he and Adam can enter and climb up the ladder. It's only when they're up in the main portion of the room that he's staring blankly. In the calamity of everything that had happened, he'd managed a couple of things on his own. They're things he means to tell Adam now, but instead:]

...I think I'm gonna be sick. [It's hyperbole, but he does tug at the makeshift leash, pulling Adam with him toward his bed before easily sliding the scrunchie and twine off his wrist. He's been capable of removing it after some time fiddling with it, but Adam will now realize that it was simply because he didn't want to after a while. Accountability. It saved him today, and he knows that.]

Comments

[antietam]

[ If he thought about it more, maybe he would realize that the blame in Luke's narrative is never quite with him. The way he's been introduced to the story is that a lot of things happened to Luke, that Luke didn't have much of a choice because of other people, because of fate. He doesn't think about it much because he's the opposite, always blaming himself, always thinking there's something wrong with him that causes these things to happen. Something that others will one day see and blame him for too.

This helps because Luke is telling him not to blame himself. Maybe he didn't make a mistake here, didn't misunderstand or do something that caused Luke to not trust him with this. There's a cautious sort of calm coming over him. He doesn't get apologies very often, or... ever. All of his friends are too stubborn to apologize and it makes him realize exactly how much this means coming from Luke. He's stubborn too, he's proud, this is hard for him. He looks over at Luke, gaze softening. ]

... I understand. [ In a way. He wouldn't have done the same, but he knows Luke has gone longer without friends, without people to confide in. ] It's getting to everyone, I know. It's frustrating and sick—but we can't let it separate us. Or they're going to break us too. I need you with me, Luke, and I need to trust you. I do trust you. I just want you to believe in me.

[ He moves closer until he's in front of Luke and he grabs the sword, takes it up and tries to get used to the feel of it. It should show that, yes, he's taking it. He was always planning to. ] How'd you get it? [ He realizes it's a dumb question after he asks. If he didn't steal it, it was given to him. He doesn't know why Elizabeth would give him another sword, but it's something. ] Elizabeth?

[chiseler]

[In truth, it's part of why he knows it's important to specify. He doesn't know exactly how deep Adam's issues go but he can take a guess. For once this isn't something that's happened to him, it's something he's caused. It's his fault, his doing, and he needs to specify that to make it real. All he wants is to regain the same sense of calm security that's usually present when Adam's around, and vice versa. It's not something he was aware of before it nearly slipped through his hands again. It's…nice, he thinks, to have these people trust him, to have people treat him the way they had before he tried to destroy the world.

He'd still destroy the world, of course, but now the reasons have changed. He still doesn't quite meet Adam's gaze but there's a small, sheepish smile. That's what needed to be said. He doesn't so much care about acceptance because he knows he and Adam won't always agree. But understanding is what he needed out of all of this.] I know. Trust me, if I didn't believe in you I wouldn't have told you all of this now and then some. I also wouldn't have worn a leash I could have easily removed. [Just saying.] Every other move we're doing together. I promise.

[He finally looks up when Adam gets closer and takes the sword, watching with interest as he swings it a bit in the way Luke's been training him. He nods though.] Elizabeth via Jason, I guess you could say. Jason has his laser sword [Lightsaber, but whatever.] so he figured I could use this one. I'm one of the only swordfighters left on the ship. [And he looks a little more proud.] But what's the point of me teaching you how to fight if you don't have your own weapon?

[antietam]

[ Adam manages a quirk of his lips when Luke mentions the leash. His eyes flick over to it where it's abandoned on the ground, the smiling balloon gazing at them. It feels judgmental. Times like these show him how broken they both are and how desperately they cling to each other for something to believe in. There's no way he could abandon Luke now or think any less of him. It's too late. ]

I know. [ He believes him fully. Maybe it is stupid. He doesn't care. ] I'll do anything possible to get us out together. If it means going along with some AI, so be it. You're not doing anything alone.

[ It's a nice sword. He feels bad about it since Adelina didn't give it to him. Would she even want him to have it? Probably not. He could send her a letter in Furry Passing, if it'd even get there. ] We can have real sword fights now. I want to train tomorrow. But for now, I think... [ He looks at Luke, his expression tired but concerned. He'd like to sleep on all of this and wake up fresh but he also doesn't want to leave Luke to wallow all night. ]

[chiseler]

[That poor, now-monocled balloon. He's trying not to look at it kind of the same way he's trying not to look so relieved that Adam's seemingly forgiven him now but it's hard to bite back the reassured grin. They're both really, really screwed without each other. He's accepted that.]

I was hoping you'd eventually say that. It'll be fine. Jack doesn't have his gun anymore so that should help, too.

[The idea of training seems to pique his interest, too.] It'd be a good idea for you to get real practice in and not twirl around our room swinging Backbiter when you think I'm not looking. [Sometimes Luke sleeps early. Sometimes Luke just likes to observe and pretend he's sleeping. But he nods once he notices that Adam's a little drained.] ...call it an early night, Parrish. I'll try not to be up much longer, I just...I want to finish some stuff. It won't be long.

[antietam]

[ Adam raises an eyebrow, now regretting saying that since Luke apparently was expecting it. He also does not feel that the lack of a gun helps anything. But he's committed, he has to. ]

I can't learn if I don't practice. [ He huffs and crosses his arms. He seems to tense a little when Luke is vague about what he's doing. ] What're you gonna do? [ Sorry, Luke. This is how it'll be now. ]

[chiseler]

[He can't be perfect okay. But he looks up at Adam with the most innocent look possible before he holds up both hands in a surrender kind of motion.]

Relax, I'm not going anywhere...I just have some letters I want to finish writing. That cool?

[antietam]

[ He relaxes immediately. Luke could lie, probably, and sneak out since Adam would never know... but he trusts him. ]

Yeah. [ He thinks about apologizing but. Nah. Instead he stands up to get ready for bed. ] Night, Luke. Try to get some rest tonight.